When we fall out of the routine of having a job, of working, it is all too easy to fall into a more painful rut: the spiral of feeling dread for our situation, and the inability to escape it. We find ourselves talking more and more about our negative moods to friends, wondering if things will ever change. We might feel ourselves becoming the kind of person we never felt to be, a sort of victim of life, complainers. How to get out of a rut?

Guard your speech. If you find yourself more and more sobbing on the shoulder of a friend, resist it. Make a vow with yourself not to mention your mood. Talk instead of your goals. The more you talk of them, the more you will get enthusiastic about them. Checking out a new job, making strategies for your interviews, these are the things to focus on.

When you are job seeking it, let yourself get fully absorbed into it. Don’t think constantly of the weekend, or the night when you can have a few beers, or whatever else. Stop texting, don’t waste time on the internet, but make yourself goals, small at first, but daily larger.

It might seem a little awkward at first, talking about petty goals that you don’t feel strongly about. But the more you get into it, the more the shift in language will lead you forward. Let your tongue be your rudder.

Mind you, you might still feel depressed, abysmal, if not at times completely dejected. Accept that. That is natural for to feel, anybody in your situation would feel the same. But why feed such feelings by giving them attention? Like a child who misbehaves to get attention, sometimes you must simply admit that such feelings exist, and then attend to the more active emotions of accomplishing your goals.

You can, after all, talk about your goals whether you feel like it or not. Like cutting a river bed, when you simply do the things you need to do, and talk about that, the water of your daily emotions will follow.

So talk little of your negative moods, and talk more of your goals, your daily and weekly goals. By focusing on the things you need to do to succeed, others will come to believe in you as well, and that will reaffirm your commitment to yourself. Instead of seeking others for confirmations that it will be alright, you will feel secure that if anybody deserves success, it is you.

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